“It is night: now do all gushing fountains speak louder. And my soul also is a gushing fountain.”
 Friedrich Nietzsche, from Thus Spoke Zarathustra    (via transcendentalcaffeination)

(via poemsofthequiet)

And it’s a permanent hesitation
And it permeates through elation
- Born Ruffians

"Wild Geese" by Mary Oliver

"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.”

—Mary Oliver, “Wild Geese”

plaxtic:

hope gangloff
“The beginning of meditation is self-knowledge, which means being aware of every movement of thought and feeling, knowing all the layers of my consciousness, not only the superficial layers but the hidden, the deeply concealed activities. To know the deeply concealed activities, the hidden motives, responses, thoughts and feelings, there must be tranquility in the conscious mind; that is the conscious mind must be still in order to receive the projection of the unconscious.”

Krishnamurti (via donotconceptualize)

It’s easy to confuse what meditation is. Most see it as sitting quietly in a room with eyes closed for a few minutes. It’s not. Meditation is being consciously aware of what’s going on in your mind. And you do it all the time - when you wake up, brush your teeth, go to work and eat dinner. Every thought, every action is examined and understood - that is self-knowledge. 

(via ahealthyearth)

(via ahealthyearth)

“To be left alone on the tightrope of youthful unknowing is to experience the excruciating beauty of full freedom and the threat of eternal indecision.”
— Maya Angelou (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)

(via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)

“When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.”
— Peter O’Toole (via ofallgods)

(via ofallgods)

Requiem for a Matriarch

Dearest C, 

I just arrived back in the sweet prairie air, with many memories, new, sad, and healing, in my heart. 

And what do I find in my mailbox? 
A beautiful gift and note from you. 

Thank you so much C. I wish I could have been there to celebrate your brother’s wedding, and I wish I could have seen you once more before the next.
Thank you for all of your kind words during my grandma’s passing. They meant so much. 

The celebration was beautiful. The church (an enormous space) was overflowing. Seats were set up in the lobby so more people could join us. Her passing has left a big hole in many hearts. Many people spoke about her fierce politics and activism, as well as her generosity and love as a global neighbour, mother, grandmother, friend. She was warmly remembered, and her spirit was tangibly present that day. She would never have missed a party, especially one thrown in her honour. 

She taught me that I can always do more. More to help. More to give. More to listen. More to love. She taught me to explore. To explore the world, to explore my mind, to explore my heart. She modelled genuine concern and care for every single person that crossed her path in life: her cab drivers, her cashiers, her nurses (were they treated well? had they gotten a break yet that day? were they paid adequately? or, where did they come from? what kind of family did they have? what were their aspirations?) She always told me that the answer to your prayers is at the end of your arm. That it’s not enough to wish well for someone without being active and doing all that we can. There is always something we can do, without question or pride. She genuinely cared and loved. She held so many people in her heart. She was an amazingly powerful and humble woman. 
It was amazing to have our entire family gathered to celebrate our powerful matriarch. She was the thread that knit us all together. I sincerely hope we don’t unravel in her absence. It still seems surreal to me. I miss her incredibly. My memories of her still seem so alive, so tangible, so easy. It seems impossible that they can’t happen anymore. 

We found a piece of paper in a box of her things that read, “God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.” After 91 years, she finally finished her list. 

Thank you for your thoughts, your time, your ear, and your beautiful words. They show you care, and I am forever grateful for that. 
Can we skype Sunday eve? 

Lots of love, 
J

Baby on Board

Twelve days
then I escape
by the wheels of a greyhound
carrying me eastbound
through yellow fields
the greenest trees
and blue skies
I’m coming from the west again
but this time I’m calling it
I’m renaming the east
going home
I’m escaping this place that used to be it
I leave to do what I must
in this world I listen and
follow my heart which has already run onward
to the mouth of the ocean
to be swallowed 
she jumped
and with or without me she runs
back to the city 
and so 
I must go 
with my heart

I’ve designed my escape
and I leave in twelve days
climbing aboard the wheels of a big greyhound bus
I will sit 
I will stare 
out the window 
of my three day new lair
I am going home
again to the peace that’s been granted
from the place I was given
to the place where my heart found her piece
from the sea of the stars and the wail of the wind
to the city 
I follow 
my heart
longs to be chased for
I follow my heart
she runs onward
without me
and since she knows better
I go

I’ve twelve days till my heart
runs her course
in this place
she’s tied up her laces
she’s trained for this marathon
my heart runs more miles in less minutes than light
and 
this big baby’s got her ticket
to cover those miles
a three day long journey 
aboard a bus

She’s going to ride
and I know
when I get there
I feel
when I get there
I will breathe
for the first time
I will breathe
for the first time
I will breathe
for the very first time

[J.A]

“Learn the difference between a man who flatters you and a man who compliments you. A man who spends money on you and a man who invests in you. A man who views you as property and a man who views you properly. A man who lusts after you and a man who loves you.”
— (via breakfastatbarneys)